A Book Review: Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver
Holy shit! I haven't been into the romance genre since I was a teenager and going through my Nicolas Sparks phase. There is more unpacking to do with revisiting teenage Vanessa but I'll leave that to my therapist. Don't get me wrong, I've tried romance novels and have enjoyed a couple in the last few years but nothing has been quite as mind-blowing as Butcher and Blackbird. I guess all it takes for me to be interested in a love story is murder and serial killers...what does that say about me? (Again, I'll digress to my therapist.) Though Brynne Weaver is no debut author, this novel was my introduction to her writing. In my internet sleuthing I discovered she has quite more novels under her belt that I feel I NEED to add to my never-ending stack of "to be read".
In this novel, we navigate the complicated situationship of Sloan and Rowan. We get narratives from both characters' perspectives as they struggle to admit their feelings for one another throughout this competition they have with each other. You see, saying they play a game of cat and mouse is an understatement. They play a game of find and kill the serial killer. If Dexter and 50 Shades of Grey had a baby this novel would be it.
Yes, this is a romance novel, but it's more than just a corny love story. This is a story of how two severely damaged people try to work through their own issues to allow themselves to become vulnerable with each other. We see how those reservations negatively impact their character growth, lives, and ultimately their relationship with one another. There are times when the romance comes off a bit juvenile but when you have individuals who have suffered severe trauma emotional growth is often severely delayed, whether that writing was intentional or accidental it worked out brilliantly.
Weaver's writing style, specifically the narration of the main characters' self-reflection, was at times so lyrical and poetic, that I was left longing to pull out my poetry notebooks and write my heart out.It was lines and passages like the below:
"Fear is fused with hope. Care with control, with envy, with sadness. It's fucking everything, all at once. Even the desire to turn this feeling off locks with the need to nurture it. The totality of it devours me. And it only grows with every passing moment. Sloane bleeds into every thought. When we're apart, her absence is an entity. I worry for her. I dream of her. And yesterday, I almost lost her. Killing bound us together, and it's a compulsion neither of us can live without. This need, and now this game between us, consumes me as much as she does. My obsessions push me to a cliff I'm bound to fall over, and there might not be an end to the drop once I do." -Rowan
I mean, come on! You can't tell me that isn't something you'd find in a modern Shakespearean tragedy?! That isn't the only one, there are so many one-liners sprinkled throughout the book that knock the wind out of you.
I really enjoyed this book. It was the writing style when tortured emotions were involved that really resonated with me. I'm not a serial killer (and even if I wasn't I wouldn't publicly admit it 😋), but I do have my own trauma and there were moments and quotes from the characters when they discussed their fears and their brokenness that really poked holes into my heart and soul. Sadly I could relate to their emotionally tormented storms. Even inspirational self-reflections, though rare considering our characters, were also something I enjoyed, having graduated therapy more than once.
"There is art in our scars. There's wonder in the way we can heal"-Rowan
"It's as though I've been thrown into the ocean, drowning in the swell, and suddenly I realize I could have put my feet down all along. I could have stood up and kept my bearings. It was all just my imagination."
I've already recommended this book to several people. If you enjoy the romance genre as well as true crime-type novels than you'll enjoy this. Even if you don't enjoy the romance genre or are very skeptical about it, like me, you might still want to give it a chance. I did and was pleasantly delighted to death. Though I will say pay mind to the trigger warnings at the beginning of the book, what Weaver did with cookie dough icecream was indeed....unforgivable.
-Vanessa
Other quotes highlighted:
"The breath I take feels the same as it does after you dive too deep, unsure if you'll reach the surface in time. The relief is cellular when the air hits my lungs." -Rowan
"And there it is. That blush. A pink so addictive that it haunts me. I want to hoard these images of Sloane, her face flushed, her eyes dancing, her smile desperate to be freed." -Rowan
"Six months of memes and jokes, and texts and sometimes calls, just to say hello. And every day, I look forward to it. Ever day, it warms me up, lighting places that have always been dark."-Sloan
"You had to find comfort in being alone because you've had no choice. But as much as you like it, you're also lonely."-Lark
"Humanity eroded, stripped away, reduced to an animal caught in the clutch of distress."-Sloane
"One long look. One held breath. A handful of heartbeats and a lightning flash."-Sloane
"Sometimes, it feels like having a wild thing in my grasp when she's with me. She's just like her nickname, ready to take off with the first gust of wind."-Rowan
"I couldn't have expected the way my blood would charge through my flesh, or the way the whole world would shrink to this pinpoint, this moment in a mirror."-Sloan
"When that piece of the puzzle snaps into place, it aches a little, like my heart has to crack to make room for it to fit." -Sloan
"When I was young, I collected every lucky charm I could find. I carried a rabbit's foot around everywhere. I couldn't understand why those talismans never changed my luck, so I stopped believing. But now I know. I was saving it all up to mee you, Blackbird."-Rowan
"I'm desperate to take a step closer, to just touch him and make whatever this is stop before it all disintegrates in my hand like a castle of sand swept out to sea."